Unintended Immortality

“Creak..” The creak of the wooden door’s hinge was rusty and drawn out.

Outside stood a man around thirty years old, dressed in black clothes and boots. Although he didn’t carry an iron ruler[1] or long saber, it was clear he was a constable or bailiff. At the moment, his hands were full of gifts, and a smile was on his face.

“Greetings, Mister.”

“Chief, what is this...”

“Oh, I am Luo Jun, and I live diagonally opposite you,” the constable said with a smile. “I've long heard that a master had moved into our Tianshui Alley, but I've been too busy to visit. Please forgive me.”

“I’m unworthy of it.”

“I don’t know...”

“Chief Luo, please come in.”

Song You quickly invited Constable Luo inside.

In Great Yan, major officials were frequently reassigned, and actual local power mostly lay in the hands of minor officials. They could not be slighted.

Among them, constables were technically military officials, but they were closely bound up with the livelihood of the people. They represented the government and often interacted with jianghu people, meaning that they had influence over both sides of the law. Moreover, constables' positions in Great Yan were often hereditary. With great power and connections passing down through generations, they could not be provoked in their locales.

Yet, Constable Luo was very respectful towards Song You at the moment. Upon entering the courtyard, he placed the gifts he brought on the stone table.

There was fine wine brewed in-house from Tianxin Shop, dark brown sugar from Jiuhe County, a yard of fabric from He Family Village, and even a tea set, showing great consideration.

“I should have visited sooner, but I've been busy catching a burglar lately,” Constable Luo said, his hands finally free to execute a bow. “Yesterday afternoon, I finally had some free time and wanted to visit, but unfortunately, you happened to be out.”

“How could I deserve such lavish gifts?” Song You looked at the presents and frowned.

“You are a master, of course you deserve them,” Constable Luo continued before Song You could respond. “To be honest, when I came yesterday, I coincidentally met some tea merchants from Wushan County who also came to visit you. After talking with them, I learned that the master who eradicated the fog spirit on Jinyang Road was none other than you...”

“I just did it in passing.”

“You eliminated a menace for the people without seeking fame or profit. I greatly admire that, I should salute you.” Constable Luo said, bowing again.

“You're too polite.”

Song You only displayed a helpless expression.

Such polite behavior was deeply ingrained in Great Yan society. Everyone spoke courteously and with the best manners.

For instance, the armed guard surnamed Chen was not an armed guard chief, yet ordinary people addressed him as one. Similarly, Song You initially didn’t know whether Constable Luo was a constable or a bailiff, yet he referred to him as “Chief” from the start. Everyday conversations were extremely polite. Song You didn’t know if it was habitual but he didn’t like it. ℞áΝóβƐṠ

Fortunately, Constable Luo was a savvy person. He realized that a master like Song You probably didn’t appreciate beating around the bush.

Being more straightforward might even earn him some favor. “To be honest, besides visiting a neighbor, I also have a matter to consult you on.”

“Chief Luo, there's no need to be so polite. Just speak directly.”

“It's a long story.” Constable Luo sighed deeply. "In the past year or two, burglaries have been frequent in Yidu City. The burglar only steals treasures from the homes of the nobility, even stealing from the prefect. The bigwigs in the city are all furious, ordering us to catch the burglar immediately. Despite trying all kinds of methods, we haven't been able to track him down. For a time, common people in the city even spread rumors that it's the work of demons or ghosts.

“Only a few months ago did we finally see the burglar's true face and understood how he secretly slips into the homes of the nobility to steal and escape our pursuit.”

“Can that burglar fly or traverse through the earth?”

“You've heard of it too?”

“I saw a wanted notice at the city gate.” Song You recalled seeing a wanted notice for a great burglar who could traverse through the earth at the city gate when he arrived.

“That’s the burglar! Though he can't fly, he has somehow acquired the ability to traverse through the earth,” Constable Luo said, looking at Song You. “Do you know anything about this art of earth-traversing[2]?”

“I understand it somewhat.”

“Really?” Constable Luo unconsciously blurted out. Realizing he had been too abrupt, he quickly explained, “That burglar has evaded capture for so long that the bigwigs in the city have issued an ultimatum. Yet, we’re at our wits’ end. We've set traps many times, but the burglar is cowardly, cunning and suspicious by nature. He never enters into the traps. The day before yesterday, he stood not far from us and mocked us. It’s really abominable, and I’m desperate to catch him...”

“And to be honest, I have sought advice from the master at Taian Temple, but...” Constable Luo trailed off, shaking his head.

“What idea did the master from Taian Temple come up with?” Song You asked, suddenly curious.

“Master Guanghong of Taian Temple suggested we dig a ring of pits and bury manure in them to foil the burglar's earth-traversing technique.” Constable Luo smiled helplessly as he said this.

“It might work with some who are not skilled.”

“So Master Guanghong wasn’t pulling my leg?”

“The idea of breaking spells with filth has always existed. Perhaps the master saw that you were impatient but he was uncertain himself.”

“That’s what I thought.” Constable Luo finished and looked at Song You. “Do you have any other methods? If you help us catch this burglar, I promise not only to persuade the county head magistrate to bestow the full reward upon you as if you’ve caught the burglar yourself, but also an additional generous reward.”

“You mentioned the burglar is cowardly and suspicious?”

“That's my personal judgment.”

“You’re experienced so I think you must be right.”

“But what does that have to do with catching the burglar?”

“What you don’t know is that earth-traversing technique, like wall-passing technique[3], require the practitioner to believe firmly in their success. If the practitioner doubts or feels apprehensive, they might smother to death underground or get stuck in a wall.” Song You explained. “Therefore, people who practice these techniques have always been either resolute and brave or stupid imbeciles.”

Song You was genuinely knowledgeable about these techniques.

Hidden Dragon Temple had complete manuals on earth-traversing and wall-passing techniques. He even understood their principles very well but he didn’t know how to use them himself.

The principles that “it exists if one believes in it” and “faith strengthens while doubt weakens” applies to many techniques, but these particular techniques have an inherent flaw. They always carry a risk of failure, no matter how well the practitioner has learned it or how skillful he is. Only the probability of the risk varies.

If you invest painstaking effort into studying it for half a lifetime, you would at most lower the risk somewhat.

Yet this contradicts the previously mentioned “The practitioner must believe firmly in their success.”

Therefore, few highly skilled cultivators know how to use these techniques. The more they understand them, the more they know their flaws and the more their confidence wavers during usage. This increases the likelihood of failure, actually creating a vicious cycle.

These techniques are more often used by petty criminals.

After listening, Constable Luo frowned. “Over this period, I've come face-to-face with the burglar several times, but he always escapes due to his earth-traversing technique. Last month, I discovered where he lives and feel I understand him somewhat. I believe he’s somewhat stupid at most and definitely not brave or resolute like your description though he can’t be described as an imbecile.”

“Was he skilled in this field in the past?”

“He was just a down-and-out scholar who was unable to pass the imperial exams. He learned this earth-traversing technique somewhere and turned to crime.”

“Perhaps someone behind the scenes imparted it to him without informing him about the flaw, or they used secret techniques to suppress his doubts and anxiety. Or maybe he learned the technique without understanding its profundity.” Song You paused, glancing at the gifts Constable Luo brought out of the corner of his eyes. After thinking for a moment, he said, “If either of these is true, I have a stratagem that you can try. However, I only invite you to try it and I don’t dare to guarantee success.”

“Please tell me.”

“Just expose the flaw.”

“How?”

“Do you know a book called Chronicles of Peach and Plum Seasons?”

“Chronicles of Peach and Plum Seasons…” Constable Luo couldn’t see the connection between foiling the art of earth-traversing and a book.

Fortunately, Great Yan had the highest literacy rate in history, and he came from a prominent family, so he had learned to read. After thinking for a long while, he actually remembered. It seemed to be a collection of strange and eerie stories, akin to a compilation of mysterious fantasy tales about demons and ghosts.

“I have some impression of it.”

“Next time you encounter the thief, just tell him that Chronicles of Peach and Plum Seasons mentions someone who often used earth-traversing techniques and ended up suffocating three chi underground.”

“Will it work?”

“Possibly.”

“What...” Constable Luo was taken aback. Although he felt it seemed even more far-fetched than digging pits and filling them with manure, he indicated that he would take note of it.

After chatting a bit more, Song You saw him off.

Chronicles of Peach and Plum Seasons was well-known. Such miscellaneous books sold well. There was no awareness of copyright in this era so many bookstores had published it. The book's compiler was a Daoist himself and he had experienced many of the stories himself or personally heard of them from others. The details were highly realistic. Anyone with a slight connection to Daoism could see this. The burglar, being cowardly and suspicious, would likely investigate upon hearing this.

Even if he was illiterate, hearing such a credible statement backed with evidence would cause his heart to waver.

If it worked, great. If not, he could think of something later.

Song You shook his head and began putting away the items. He hung the cured meat and sausages on the kitchen rafters and stored the dark brown sugar, tea cakes, and wine in the kitchen. Despite being a rented haunted house, it now felt more like a home.

“This food will last a while.” Song You murmured, then he looked at the cloth.

It was first-rate material, probably the most valuable among the gifts. He looked at the old robe he was wearing and thought he might have a new one made.

However, the cloth was too florid, and he preferred plain colors.

In the end, he decided against it.

Although the robe had grown old with use, for many years it had served him well by covering him up and providing warmth. It had long since become broken in until it was most comfortable and suited to him. At present, it had no holes nor was it torn. It continued to cover him up and provide warmth. How could he discard it because it was a little old?

Returning to the courtyard, he saw Lady Calico under the stone table. She was having fun pawing at the hemp rope originally used to carry the wine that hung down from the table.

“As I have enough joy within, I do not feel my enjoyment of my meals and clothes are lesser than other people’s.”[4]

This was true for Song You and also Lady Calico.

1. Traditional Chinese weapon like a flat and wide dulled sword used historically for subduing criminals. ☜

2. This is one of the immortal arts in Daoist mythologies, as depicted in texts like "Biographies of Divine Immortals" and "Investiture of the Gods." It is said that by using this art/technique, one can hide by burrowing into the ground or shorten great distances, teleporting somewhere far away. ☜

3. Technique of walking through walls. ☜

4. Quote from preface “Gift Preface for Ma Sheng from Dongyang” by Ming dynasty writer Song Lian. ☜

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