The Creatures that We Are

“I can’t.” Gao Yang’s voice was soft, tinged with exhaustion. He looked out of the window wall into the quiet backyard covered by white snow, distracted.

“Yeah, that’s…” Can cocked her head and scratched it, clutching at her coat with her other hand nervously. “Merry Christmas.”

“Same to you,” Gao Yang said faintly.

“This is a gift for you.” Can took out a pair of woolen gloves with gray and white stripes from her pocket. “Here.”

Gao Yang turned around and paused for a second before taking the gloves. “Thanks.”

“Haha, no need. You gave me a coat. I only give you a pair of gloves. I get much more out of this exchange,” Can said nonchalantly.

“I’ll keep them well,” Gao Yang said.

“You aren’t going to put them on?”

“No,” Gao Yang said honestly. “I already have a good glove.”

You knew what would happen. Don’t be greedy.

Can pursed her lips and looked out of the window, her shoulders slowly relaxing, and her heart no longer kept up a hurried pace. She stopped looking for things to talk about.

They sat on the sofa without a word, watching the pouring snow outside.

At that moment, Can prayed in the dark pitifully.

Please, God, let us be alone for a while, let nothing happen.

Otherwise, I’ll surely get up and leave out of consideration.

I don’t want to be considerate this time. I don’t want to leave.

I want to stay by Captain’s side and watch the snow with him, just for a while.

Only a while, for real.

…

Hiding in the shadowed corner of the spiral staircase, Little Qing Ling was holding a box. She looked at the sofa in the living room, where Gao Yang and Can sat shoulder to shoulder, quietly watching snow together in peace.

After a few seconds of silence, Little Qing Ling tiptoed back to her room. Gently closing the door, she put the box in the drawer and took out a notebook to write a diary.

It had been a habit of hers starting a long time ago. She didn’t write every day, but once in a while. It didn’t take long for her to finish it. She hid the diary well.

Parting the curtains before her desk, she sat on the bed and watched the heavy snow outside. Time slowly passed. She closed her eyes.

Why didn’t you give the gift to him?

I didn’t feel like it all of a sudden.

Childish.

You don’t get it.

Gao Yang doesn’t like Can.

I know.

Then why?

Sister, gifts should make someone happy, not troubled. I hope that when he thinks about me, it’ll be all happy memories.

If you want something, fight for it. Nothing will just fall onto your lap.

This isn’t the time to distract him, Sister. I’ve been stubborn for so long. It’s time for me to be considerate for once.

Whatever.

I can’t sleep, Sister. Watch the snow with me.

No, I want to sleep.

Just a moment.

Three minutes.

Yeah, you’re the best, Sister.

…

White mansion in the woods, Xijing District, four o’clock in the morning.

The woods at night were silent and serene save for the heavy snow bending the tree branches. In the backyard of the mansion, the clear light of the moon pooled. A girl with silver hair and red eyes was rolling a ball of snow, dressed in light pajamas with a sunflower sewn on the chest area, barefooted. ꭆàΝǒʙĘs̩

Four snowmen had been made, based on Master Spring, Waking Insects, White Dew, and Fresh Snow. They were Spring and White Dew’s handiwork, the resemblance striking.

Fresh Snow recognized the snowmen at first glance when she returned home.

Now, she wanted to make a snowman for Gao Yang, too. Then the family would be complete.

She didn’t fear the cold, but her hands were still red from the chill.

Making a smaller snowball, she lifted it onto the bigger snowball, and the rough shape of a snowman was made.

She picked up wild walnuts fallen in the backyard, using them as the snowman’s eyes.

She smiled with satisfaction and started looking for a nose, but didn’t see anything that would work.

“Here.”

White Dew appeared behind her in a quaint red dress cinched at the waist topped with a white shawl, holding a carrot in her delicate fingers.

“You’re still awake, Sister!” Fresh Snow was surprised and delighted.

“Just like you, I couldn’t sleep.” White Dew threw Fresh Snow the carrot. She caught it and inserted it into the snowman’s face.

Fresh Snow looked at the snowman and chuckled. “Long nose monster.”

“Serves him right.” White Dew laughed too. “He’s a liar, so he should have a long nose.”

“Don’t talk about Gao Yang like that.” Fresh Snow puffed out her cheeks. “He must have important things to take care of. That was why he didn’t show up.”

White Dew scoffed. “More important than you are?”

Fresh Snow paused.

“He broke a promise. That’s it. Whatever reason he had was all an excuse.”

Fresh Snow turned to the long-nosed snowman, her shoulders sagging.

According to her sister’s plan, she would give Gao Yang the gift and watch the fireworks with him. Then, when the bell rang, she would confess to Gao Yang.

They would go from friends to lovers, just like in the movies.

However, Gao Yang didn’t show up.

All the planning was for nothing. There were many boxes on her bucket list that she couldn’t check.

Fresh Snow’s chest tightened.

She turned to White Dew and pressed her hands to her chest. “Sister, I think I’m sick. I don’t feel so good here. I can’t breathe.”

“Silly girl, you aren’t sick, but heartbroken.” White Dew ached for her and felt a resignation. “You were hurt by Gao Yang.”

Fresh Snow was caught off guard again. She lowered her eyes slowly. “Ah. So that’s what it feels like…to love a person?”

White Dew sighed and wrapped her arms around her sister.

Fresh Snow embraced her and buried her face in her dress, speaking weakly, “I regret it, Sister. I don’t wanna be Gao Yang’s lover. I…I want to go back to being his friend.”

White Dew stroked her hair. “It’s too late, Fresh Snow. You’ve grown up, and once you did, you can’t go back.”

“Then…what do I do?” Fresh Snow sobbed quietly. “I’m scared, Sister. I don’t know what to do…”

“Don’t be scared.” White Dew looked up at the night sky. “Just go forward, one step after another.”

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