Tales From the Terran Republic

“Thap… Thap… Thap...” Jeruzz happily burbled as he tapped away at the “perfect” river stone he recovered from the riverbed. (He was able to find it!!!)

Doreen sighed and tried to focus on the stock she was repairing. Damn thing had a crack. Why the Hell do people pay out the ass for walnut and then treat it like shit?

“Thap… Thap… Thap...” Jeruzz said happily as he pecked away at whatever the Hell he was pecking on.

She set down her tools.

“Jeruzz!” She exclaimed in exasperation.

“Yesth?” he replied happily.

“I’m… happy… that you are making something for me and that it’s a ‘surprise’...” she said with great self-control, “but do you have to narrate every single ‘thap’?”

“Thorry,” Jeruzz said cheerfully, “Ith a habbith. Ith helpth me focusth.”

Doreen closed her eyes and took a single calming breath.

“Jeruzz,” she said carefully, “I really appreciate that you are making something for me, and I can’t wait to see it… but you are driving me insane, and this is a twenty-five hundred credit repair...”

“Can I polishth the sthock?” Jeruzz asked hopefully.

“You can polish the whole goddamn thing!” Doreen smiled. It really was impossible to even stay annoyed with the damn noodle. “But you can’t polish it until I’m done, and that will never happen while you are ‘thapping’.”

“I can go outside…” Jeruzz said uncertainly.

Doreen sighed again. Jeruzz had been understandably reluctant to venture outside all that much after his encounter with a hungry golden eagle. He hadn’t “gone out” a single time since.

Doreen figured it wouldn’t be much longer before he snapped. She caught him staring at the squirrels in a decidedly non “misther squirrel” sort of way several times today already.

But, that was a horse he would have to climb back on himself when he was ready… or wholly consumed by his little “issue”.

“I know I have a rule about not working in the cabin,” Doreen smiled, “But if you want to take your project to your room, you can this once… as long as you don’t make a fucking mess.”

“Thanksth!” Jeruzz exclaimed as he carefully hid what it was working on in his pail and slithered out the door.

Doreen smiled at his departure and returned to the tricky repair.

After a few minutes, she paused. Something was wrong.

She chuckled as she realized she missed the “thaps”.

“Goddamn snake,” she chuckled as she cut a steel rod to length.

***

“How’s your little project going?” Doreen asked over supper.

Jeruzz didn’t answer. He just looked out the window towards the trees.

He also hadn’t touched his stew.

“Jeruzz?” Doreen smiled. It wouldn’t be long now.

“Buh?” Jeruzz mumbled (the Keth equivalent of “Wha?”), “Thorry, I drifthed ofth there.”

“How is your project?” Doreen asked with an indulgent smile and a sip of beer.

“Oh… I didn’th geth much done thoday,” Jeruzz replied, a bit out of it, “I wasth disthracthed.”

“I bet,” Doreen replied, “You know you have to go out there soon… or start buying rats or something.”

Jeruzz shuddered at the thought and nudged his bowl away.

“At least eat a little something,” Doreen said.

“I’m… I’m noth hungry...” Jeruzz said as he looked out the window again.

Doreen pulled out her phone and started looking for pet stores in the region.

***

“Ok, you goddamn snake,” Doreen said as she forcefully opened his door the next morning. “Breakfast is ready, and you are gonna...”

She smiled, walked over to the open window, and closed it.

She glanced over at his pail as she left his room and noticed that his favorite rock, the one he tapped with, was missing too.

Inside the pail was something else…

Fighting the urge to peek, she closed the door behind her and went to her workshop.

After she completed the repair, she pulled up scans of Jeruzz and started trying to figure out where he could wear a knife.

Damned if she could figure it out.

***

“The mighty hunter awakens!” Doreen proclaimed as Jeruzz oozed into the shop a few days later.

“Hi,” Jeruzz said sheepishly.

“So, what did you get this time?”

“I don’th know,” Jeruzz said around the handle of his pail, “buth ith was really prickly.”

His tail rose up, and put several porcupine quills on the table.

“Ith wasth really good!” he said cheerfully, “I think I needed the pricklies!”

“You took down a porcupine?!” Doreen exclaimed. “Are you ok?”

“Are they dangerousth?” Jeruzz asked with big eyes.

“Not exactly,” Doreen replied, “but those ‘pricklies’ are a bitch. You get stuck anywhere?”

“I don’th think so...” Jeruzz said as he examined himself all over. “Waith… I think I thee thome holesth.”

He beamed up at her.

“I’m fine, though!”

His tail then raised the pail up onto the table.

“While I was resthing,” he said, “I finisthed your presenth!”

“I can’t wait!” Doreen said indulgently as she reached into the pail and pulled out something wrapped in toilet paper.

“It’sth a rock!” Jeruzz exclaimed, unable to contain himself any longer.

“Oh, is it?” Doreen said as she unwrapped her “present”, “I’m sure it’s...”

Her breath caught.

Engraved on the smooth surface of the stone was an intricate mandala of local flowers and a combination of geometric and flowing lines, both alien and viscerally relatable.

It was… beautiful…

“You like it?” Jeruzz asked eagerly.

“I… I love it...” Doreen replied, slightly stunned. “It’s beautiful, Jeruzz.”

“Reeely?”

“Reeely,” Doreen smiled.

She cocked an eye at Jeruzz.

“So, Jeruzz,” she smiled, “do you like making stuff like this?”

“Very much tho!”

Doreen smiled again.

“You don’t know it yet,” Doreen chuckled, “but you are about to become very wealthy.”

“I am?” Jeruzz asked in complete bewilderment.

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