Tales From the Terran Republic

Prime Minister Augustine Raharimampionon stepped into the packed briefing room as her personal anthem resonated through the entire room.

Everyone stood politely as the music played, and she waited behind the podium.

Finally, she had had enough and waved her hand, cutting the music short.

The room exploded into shouted questions.

“I will answer as many questions as I can,” Augustine said, her clear, calm voice filling the room. “But first, I wish to make a brief statement.”

The room fell quiet.

“Thank you,” she smiled.

She took a deep breath.

“The real reason all of you are here is that you expect a statement concerning certain allegations made by the former ambassador to the Federation. I admit that we… that I have been silent for far too long on this matter. The reason for that is not due to a desire to keep anything from the citizens of the Republic. We have remained silent because we have been undertaking an investigation into this matter, and we are continuing to do so.”

“Because of this investigation, I cannot go into as much detail as you would like. I’m sorry about that.”

The room started to murmur angrily.

“However, I will say this. This investigation is detailed and ongoing. That should tell the more astute among you something. We would not still be investigating if there was nothing to investigate. I will also say this. If there is a conspiracy afoot and if someone is a part of that conspiracy,” she said with a vicious smile, “We probably already know who you are. If you have an ounce of sense or a shred of a self-preservation instinct, you are advised to turn yourself in. You really don’t want to be standing with any possible conspiracy against the Republic when the investigation is completed. You really don’t. The penalty for conspiracy against the Republic is death, and it will be enforced.”

She paused for effect.

“You will be hoisted up by the neck in the parliamentary gardens while I have an outdoor reception in your honor. I shall sip champagne as you all slowly strangle. You have my assurance on that point… If there is an actual conspiracy, of course...”

The room chuckled.

“I know there are many accusations as to who is ultimately behind any possible conspiracy and the nature of it,” she said, “Is it an insidious plot by Patricia Hu baited with promises of immortality, or is it a planned military takeover by Jon and the people he has been secretly communicating with and the forces that he has made a clumsy attempt to rally in secret? Yes, Jon, I know all about that.”

She smirked.

“Well,” she said to the room, “Considering that neither Jon Wintersmith nor Patricia Hu has decided to come forward, it’s sort of hard to tell, isn’t it? Forgive my crude language, but I think it’s rather ‘chicken shit’ of both of them, don’t you? I would be very reluctant to follow a leader who won’t step forward and face the people of the Republic as I am now doing.” 𐍂ÅɴȱBΕṣ

The room chuckled.

“Let me make one thing crystal clear,” Augustine said with a cruel sparkle in her eyes, “There is only one person running the Republic, and that is me!”

The room cheered.

“And if you think I am anyone’s bitch then you haven’t been paying attention for the last one hundred and fifty years!!! No raider landed on Madagascar on my watch, and no fucking insurrectionist will take the Republic on it either! Either of them will have to go through me to get to this podium, and I can assure you that will NOT happen! The Republic, born in fire, baptized in fire, and tested by fire, WILL ENDURE!!! I don’t care what I have to do or who I have to kill. I will personally ensure that the Republic for which so many of our loved ones have died will not fall!!!”

The room roared.

“Now I have a little message for two stars of this little drama we have all had to endure,” she shouted, “Jon! You are hereby ordered to haul your narrow ass into my office, NOW!” she yelled as the room laughed, “If you don’t have the guts to face me then at least have the courage to call. Oh, and Jon… STOP WITH THE TRANSMISSIONS!!!” she shouted to more laughter, “I got the memo. The press has gotten the memo. Every single mother fucking citizen has gotten the memo. The entire Galaxy has gotten the goddamn memo, Jon! Stop it! Please! Just make it stop!!!” she wailed in an anguished voice to howling laughter. “It’s jamming up the harmonics, and it’s, to be perfectly honest, starting to piss us off. We get it! One of Patricia’s henchmen slipped into your bedroom. You can stop bragging about it now. Jesus, you are like that one kid in high school who kept running around trying to get his friends to smell his fingers!”

She paused to let the laughter get properly recorded.

“Call your friends back in the Federation and tell whoever is doing that to quit! I don’t care if they hide in the communications room. Just tell them to quit it.”

She laughed along with the room for a bit…

...then she stopped laughing.

“And to my dear friend Patricia Hu,” she said with an icy smile, “you are hereby subpoenaed to appear before parliament. I strongly recommend not defying that. I also want you to know that prior to this press conference, warrants were issued for the search of all of Red Phoenix facilities and that searches are underway as we speak, though I suspect you already know that. Answer that subpoena and answer a few little questions or start running. To be honest, I really don’t care which.”

She then sneered.

“And to the forces ‘loyal to the Republic’ that have been talking to Jon,” she said with a dangerous voice, “I am your commanding officer. You answer to me, not a retired colonel. You got that? I’ve let it slide to see how far it would go, but you are all on notice. One more peep to him, and you are officially well and truly fucked. I get it. I do,” she said with at least a little kindness in her voice, “You have been presented a truly unexpected situation and have had to make decisions that none of you should have had to make. Now, I’m making one for you. You follow my orders and the orders of your chain of command. If your superior officer tells you to do something against the Republic, you are, regardless of rank, authorized to contact my office directly. If your superior officer tries to stop you, you are authorized to do whatever you need to do to contact me.”

She sighed.

“And to all of the citizens starting to take action,” she said earnestly, “I urge patience. Have faith in the Republic. Have faith in me. Please, for just a little longer. I promise each and every one of you that if the Republic is truly in peril, I will tell you. I will tell you when it is time to lock and load. If it looks like I will fail in my duty, I will release every single thing we have learned and let you each make your own decision. Until that time, please, keep your guns in your holsters. Until that time, please keep showing up for work. Until that time, please keep faith in the Republic we built together, with our hands… with our blood. If you want to prepare, I understand. Gardening is a great way to relieve stress. Just don’t go running into the cold dark just yet, ok? We got this.”

She chuckled.

“And please stop shooting the True Terrans. It’s not nice to pick on the mentally challenged. If they start something, do what you gotta do, but otherwise, just walk away. And you ‘True Terrans’ might want to shut up and sit the fuck down. You guys are inches away from starting something you are NOT prepared to handle. There will NOT be a coup. There will NOT be a return to ‘purity’, something that you do not want, by the way. The Republic will endure. It will endure with or without you.”

She smiled.

“The Republic will endure, people. It will survive. It will triumph. No matter what the ever-turning wheel of fate inflicts upon us, the Republic and its citizens will prevail. Why? Because we, the people, will not allow otherwise. You have entrusted me with this Republic, and I will not fail you. I am willing to bet my life that you will not fail me. Any ‘conspiracy’ has to defeat us in order to succeed, and we will burn the entire Republic to ash once more before any of us let someone put us in chains. If there is a conspiracy,” she said as she threw her arms back, “then make a move. Come, child. Momma is waiting for you.”

She filled the room with a malevolent, evil aura plunging the room into silence.

“I will now open the floor to questions,” she said with a pleasant grandmotherly voice.

***

Somewhere on the fringe of a nearby abandoned system, a room full of old marines stared at the screen, their jaws open.

“Well, fuck,” Jon said after a moment.

“I like her!” Skippy exclaimed.

***

On a station on the edge of the Barnard’s star system, Monarch was less than happy.

“Do you think she is bluffing?” Marrow asked after a moment.

“That bitch just went all in,” Monarch replied with a scowl, “It isn’t a bluff.”

“What do we do?” Marrow asked.

“Well,” Monarch said with a grim smile, “the first thing we need to do is decide which one of us gets to talk to Her Ladyship… Rock paper scissors?”

“Best two out of three?” Marrow sighed.

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